I'll be quick.

My husband is deployed. We remarried before he left.

We are expecting our third child in March. Wyatt is 10. Emma is 7

Absent. But not really

So. I'm sick. Sick is sort of a short non complicated word I'm using, but none the less. I feel like - because of this I'm falling spectacularly short of how I should be functioning as a wife and mother. But, I press on and hope no one notices. Something has to give somewhere, so I cut out some things, like this blog, so I could focus what little energy I have on the things that matter most.
That said...

The family is good. We just went home for my grandparents 60th wedding anniversary.  I was trusted with making the cake. It was a fabulous 3 tier diamond edged lemon wonder.  We saw family we hadn't seen in forever. I saw my grandparents take vows again. It was truly beautiful.

The kids are doing ok in school. Wyatt is about to take those silly SOL tests. I think there is too much pressure put on those kids regarding those. He came home with a grade card that ranged from a C to an A.  I'll take it.
Emma is progressing and finally starting to read.  Seems her strong point is math. But she's just in kindergarten and I know that can change. She's a feisty little ball of fire.

What else? Hmmm....  Oh! I'm  singing for the Lord these days. I actually really love it.

A good day.

Since our cub scout pack folded and we moved to a different pack, Wyatt hasn't wanted to do scouts.  He liked his old leader, and liked the adults and kids that were around him. The new pack is really big, and it is overwhelming to a kid like Wyatt. Not to mention, all the new adults. 
So. We hadn't been going.  I went to try a different one this week, one that I heard wasn't too big,  but noticed a familiar car parked, realized we wouldn't (rather, I wouldn't)  be really welcome there (long story) so back to the other pack we went tonight.
I'm thankful.
Wyatt was happy and engaged for the entire time.  Thank you Jesus.  He raised his hand, asked to go first, he excelled.  Will this trend continue?  I don't know.  But today, He's happy, proud and I am thankful.

Happy 9th Birthday Wyatt

My dearest Wyatt,

Happy 9th birthday. As I told you, its cool, because this is your last year in the "single digits."  We had a kids birthday party at home this year.  You invited your friends from school and the neighborhood kids.  We had a balloon creator/magician here (made the coolest things- a Mario, an octopus etc) We did a pinata and shot off soda and mentos geysers.  (What a mess that was!)  You really had a great day, and I'll never be able to describe the feeling I get when I see you freely happy.  It was a really great day.

You're getting quite tall (I'm going to measure tonight and put it in here) about a foot or better more and you'll be as tall as me!  As each day passes I'm faced with the fact that you are growing up. You are growing into a little man.  Your personality is changing, you are thinking more critically, and your humor is expanding.  I LOVE that you can appreciate a good pun. (Mommy LOVES puns)

You started off 3rd grade LOVING it. Its starting to get a bit harder, but your grades are really great. A's, B's  and this weird stray D this quarter from Science. I have no idea why, because you love science, though, when I asked you, you said its because you aren't doing experiments right now, and those are your favorite.

Your dad and you are best buds.  You two are building buddies and video game partners.  I'm not part of that world. (I attempt to help build with you and you kindly suggest that we should wait for dad...its hilarious)  You and your dad have a special connection that way. You are a really lucky kid to have a dad that gets down on the ground and settles in for the long haul building projects with you. Kid, we are blessed.

You attempted golf this year and gave cub scouts a go again.  But you are falling out of interest in them.  I'm pushing for you to join a sport of any kind, but its not going well. Its not you. It may never be you to be a sports kid- and that's ok. I just want you to be happy and a lot of times that can be found in group sports.  We'll see.  You are showing interest in golf again as of this week...so maybe we'll give that another go this year.   I'm forcing you into swim lessons even though you are terrified. I keep telling you that we are always going to live around water and being able to swim is a necessary life skill.  Baby, as with a lot of things I push you on and you don't like me for, you'll thank us one day.

You and your sister get along pretty well. Grudgingly at times. Shes a little wild, and you are more reserved- the two don't line up sometimes. You two have private jokes and games- its really cool. While you aren't wildly protective over her yet, you are genuinely concerned whenever shes hurt or sick.  You will stop everything you are doing to get her a boo boo buddy or try to make her laugh. 

You are affectionate, caring and super smart. You are never without a great idea or plan.  You care about others feelings and don't like to offend anyone if you can possibly help it. Example- "Mom, I don't want to make you feel bad, but I really don't like this dinner, I mean, there are parts that are good, but others not so good."  You're adorable.

I love you to the moon and back.  I love you even when you cant see me. 
Happy Birthday little man.
Mom

moments

I had a cool moment with Emma this morning. We were sitting on the floor together, she on my lap and my arms around her while she ate her cereal.
As usual she was full of questions.
I kissed her head and tell her (as I've been telling both of the kids lately) "I love you, even when you cant see me."
So, this sparked a question from her- "When you arent here anymore, if you die, whos going to help me get on the computer?  Who knows your passwords?"  haha. I just told her that "if I wasnt here anymore, she doesnt need to worry about anything like that because daddy and probably grandmas or maybe a nice nanny would be here looking after you both and would know all the answers.  You will always be taken care of. Your only job is to know mommy still loves you even if you cant see me and you need to think of me in a smile."
We cuddled until we were late for school.

There really are no words to describe the way I feel about Wyatt, Emma and Randy.

Meet Frankie!

Meet Frankie Grace!  We adopted her January 7th.  She is a 2 year old Yorkie.  She is super sweet, affectionate and seriously adorable.

New Years 2012

I love New Years in the Rogowski house. Silly String and Confetti Party :)

 yeah....thats not snow on the ground. :)

Christmas 2012

There have been some established holiday traditions for us since moving to Virginia. As always, it starts with picking out our tree. This years tree was awesome. The strongest, non shedding tree we've had in a while.

Then we have the schools Breakfast with Santa.  Gingerbread house making, christmas cookie making, the trip to the Yankee Candle Store in Williamsburg, opening new jammies on Christmas Eve, "Christmas Cheetos", and now we have "visiting Dad on the ship"  (the last 2 years hes had duty on Christmas) 

It was nice spending time together.  A little sad we didnt get back to Wisconsin, but we are planning to go back in March.



Snoopy Dance

Emma and I were in the car.  Christmas station (dont judge) sigh...
anyway...
That song from Charlie Brown comes on...you know the one....
Emma yells "Mom! Turn it up! This is my jam! Yeah baby!"

I died of cute.

health

After a series of craptacular health scares (and awaiting the latest and greatest to be over with) my present has been put into clear focus for me.  I've been given the gift of amazing clarity.  A deep understand of what is important to me, and what I need to do with the time I have. Procrastination is no longer an option.

Today. I feel fine.

Thankful

Wyatts list of things he's thankful for. 

Food.

Kids. You liked this one

Pesto Meatball Stew
package of Italian meatballs (16 oz)
2 canned diced Italian seasoned tomatoes (undrained)
1 can cannellini beans ( so should use 2 cans though)
1/4 cup pesto (so should use 1/2 a cup though)
1/2 cup water.

mix it all in the slower cooker 5-7 hours on high.  3-4 on low.

so. stinkin. good.

Teefers

 

No Cavity Club

They like going to the dentist.  Clean bill of dental health today.

Forgotten fun

LAST Christmas we had bought Wyatt n Emma a cardboard club house. Seen those things?  You get to color it. Anyway...  Right after Christmas our first floor flooded and a lot of things got frantically tossed in weird places. We found 3 toys from Christmas that are still in packages that we had forgotten about in the hustle n bustle.  One being this clubhouse.
Randy and I put it together when they went to bed (downstairs) and then decided to put it in Emma's room upstairs (duh)
After much swearing, laughing and squishing, we got it upstairs and flooded her room with it. (Those things are actually really big!)
She woke up to it, called in Wyatt and they have been busy at work. There is a lot to color. But it really is nice to see them collaborating together to color it just so.
Last night even Randy and I were in the room coloring. So often Randy isn't here...  It was really nice to have all 4 of us doing something constructive together. Id forgotten how much fun that could be.
Here are some beginning pictures.

How dare I

I had the audacity to remove paper scraps from the table.  Emma gave me this truly appalled look and tells me, "They aren't scraps! They're feet!"
I tell her sorry, my mistake....but I still get this look whenever I've tried to approach her for the last hour.

Direction

I sometimes wonder what direction I should be going.  When I was younger I had a pretty clear idea of what I wanted to be doing at 30.
Im not doing it.
Then I think. Im alright.  Im actually pretty happy going with the flow, taking on weird jobs and hobbies when I feel like it. Im pretty lucky to live a half hippie lifestyle.    Its not really a lack of ambition or motivation either.  I just dont really sweat it like I did when I was younger. Life seems to be just a series of phases and moments. So why not just find happy and find peace in that particular phase.  I dont really look 10 years out or "where do I want to be for the rest of my life"  I dont think it terms like that.  Why do that?  Say when dude gets out of the navy...i've ben asked "where do you want to live"  Well....does it matter?  It would be nice to go back by my family....but why plan for that? There could be a million opportunites arise elsewhere.
Take each day individually. See what pops up. Take a road if you think it might be a good one.  Or not. Whatever. Just live.. How do you plan life?

Im not saying I wont stash money away for the kids to go to college. Or completely neglect my retirement fund.  Im just saying, why try to map our your future when there are a million things right there at your feet?  Look too far out and your going to miss those things....or trip on them.

Blood! Cool!

Emma helping with the Thanksgiving turkey.

Its a tissy thing.

Wyatt decided a couple months ago that he wanted to play golf.  This comes piggy back to my pestering him about trying a sport.  Im down. I know the kid doesn't like loud and busy. So golf seems perfect.
Class one. Great. Loves golf.
Class two.  So could care less.  He still likes the "golf" part.  Apparently they had played some game, who can putt the ball closest to the hole.  He said he was the only kid that putted too far.
after that, he was done.  Thats what Wyatt told me at least.
I talked to the instructor.  I said "So..... hows it goin"   The dude audibly sighed and said "I dont think he likes being here"  Long story short, the guy said that it doesn't appear that Wyatt is enjoying himself, further, Wyatt will talk during class, but apparently what he talks about has zero to do with what is being discussed- this apparently distracting the other kids.  It doesnt appear that Wyatt is paying attention or wants to be here.
I guess it doesn't surprise me... but....
I told the man, "Please believe me when I tell you that Wyatt is listening. He listens and comprehends what you are saying.  He wont give you eye contact and he'll talk out of context, but he hears you. He came home the first day and repeated and showed me everything you said."
Still... the man suggested that my husband and I shadow Wyatt during class "to see what he is talking about"
Dude..... I didn't think you were lying.  But shadowing ?  Thus singling out the  problem kid by having an in class babysitter?
Im embarrassed to say we havnet been to the last 2 classes- and Wyatt hasn't asked to go.

Im aware. That if I let Wyatt quit something every time it gets hard or he gets frustrated, Im doing him a disservice.  I know. I know. I know it.

But Im weak.

Emma's 5th Birthday

Hello Super Emma!

Today is your 5th Birthday! (7-5-12) Your Golden Birthday!  We are spending it in Kenosha WI.  You woke up in my old bedroom at Grandma and Grandpas house. It was decorated with streamers. (Batman Colors)  You were so excited! The first thing you said was "Its my Birthday! Did you know that, Mom??"  (Yes, love...26 hours of labor isn't something I'd soon forget in 5 years time.)

We bought you Slushie Magic and a Honda Ride on motorcycle. Its the only things you have been consistently asking for.  As you never ask for a thing ... ever... we thought we'd best make your birthday wish come true!

We spent the day at Stonefire. Its a really neat place that has a lot of fun games to play and things to do.  We spent 5 hours there.... just sayin.



You came home to a surprise party with your Wisconsin family & friends in attendance.  You freaked...but in a freaked out sort of way.  Everyone yelled "surprise!" and you halted, went wide eyed, then backed away out of the door. It was awesome. It took some coaxing, but you eventually came inside.  Its really strange what you'll react to and how. 

At 5, you are fearless.  Which scares the crap out of your dad and I. You'll talk to anyone, about anything.  You haven't a spec of conversational filter.  I really do admire that, but when you ask mommy's friend- whom is homeschooling- why her kids don't go to "real" school (I know what you meant, but still) and ask the dude in a wheelchair... "where did the rest of your leg go?"  I think we need to work a bit harder on that.  Its to the point I'm sort of terrified whenever you start to talk to someone.  Ha! That reminds me...when you asked the guy in the wheel chair about his leg... he told you it was bitten off by a giant crocodile. You thought that was super interesting...then he said "But the leg is nothing compared to my thumb!" Then he did the "thumb-comes-off" trick... Your jaw hit the ground!  It was freakin priceless!

You are very protective over Wyatt.  No one talks bad about "my Wyatt"  In fact, if Wyatt is teasing you and I punish him - you get mad at me. Cause... you never want Wyatt to be sad or hurt.

Towards the end of preschool this year, you became super affectionate.  You hug. You make eye contact. You snuggle. All things that prior to preschool, you didn't do.  Its really great.  You'll grab your special blanket (dubbed special blanket, cause that's what Wyatt calls his) and curl up on your dad or me.  I never want to forget this.

You LOVE school. (I pray that you stay in this mindset) You adored your preschool teacher, Ms. Reese. And you loved your classmates.

You hate having your hair done.  You prefer to let your long hair fly fly fly.  It figures... that's just your personality.  You usually look like we don't brush your hair because of it.  I don't care. You are a really happy kid. You tell people you are a tom boy. For the most part thats true enough. You like dirt, monster trucks, Batman... but when you need to pull out the stops to get your point across... your pout is all little girl.

You're active. Very active. You like to run. And run. And run some more.  Ride your bike, bounce...constantly.  You are always on your toes....literally.

You have a bite. A very feisty side. You were born with it. You're just starting to learn how to channel it. Hopefully you'll one day use your powers for good. ;)










You are bright, smart, loving and you are my pride.  Happy Birthday dear love.

Love,
Your "Ma"

When he's darn good and ready

There are a lot of things that I push for my kids to complete.  Then there are some things that I figure, "They wont go to college doing that..."  Example: binky sucking, pooing in a diaper, carrying a blanket, etc.  I try to pick my battles with them.  One of those things have been training wheels.  When they're ready, they're ready.  I expected to use some sort of gentle prodding, you know, lining things up just so, so that it becomes their decision?  
Randy "gently" suggested to Wyatt, that the training wheels may be becoming more of a hindrance than a help. "I think you may go faster if they were off"  That was it from Randy's end. 
Wyatt walks into the house, Hi Mom, gets his wrench, goes back outside.
Without a stinkin word he took of his own training wheels and gave it a try.  And that was that. 

I asked him later "What made you take them off?"  he told me, "I wanted to see if Dad was right."

Ha!